Tag Archives: steelers

From The Top Shelf — Week 2

DON’T OVERREACT!!! This is the best advice I can give after week one. Whether you scored 200 points or only 52, don’t get crazy. If you won by 117 points, congrats. If you lost by 0.02 points, that sucks. Or if you lost by 117 points, don’t worry, everything will be okay. The worst thing we can do after one week is hastily make moves to try and right a ship that isn’t even sinking yet.

Even I had a few thoughts about trading David Johnson for a running back and wide receiver, but luckily I smoked myself back to reality. I think my favorite thing about smoking weed is that it helps me remain even keeled. I let my highs get really high (pun intended) so my lows never get too low. Best thing you can do is smoke a fat bowl of weed and fucking relax. Championships are not won or lost in the first week of fantasy football! Keep grindin’.

Without further ado, here are your Dank & Schwag Buds For Week 2:

Dank Buds of the Week:

QB: Philip Rivers: Philip Rivers is the finely rolled joint of NFL QBs. They both have been around for quite some time, they deliver fairly consistently whether on the road or at home, and even when bad, they are both kind of good. Last week was a tale of two halves for Rivers, but this week he gets to face a Buffalo team that just got shredded byPhilipRivers3.jpg the less-than-elite Joe Flacco for 3 TDs. The Chargers actually have more weapons than the Ravens and all of them should be on display this week. I am expecting big games from Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen and Mike Williams. I also believe Austn Ekeler and Antonio Gates get in the endzone too. All of this will be facilitated by Philip “The Joint” Rivers. I fully expect over 300 yards and at least 3 TDs.

RB: James Conner: Back in the day, I had a buddy that would empty out a Philly Blunt without cracking the paper. He would then proceed to empty out the tobacco and refill it with marijuana. He called it The Godfather. James Conner is not The Terminator; he is The Godfather. The Steelers emptied their backfield of Le’Veon Bell and refilled it with something potent as fuck. Conner had 36 touches for almost 200 yards and 2 TDs in a rain-soaked tie. While this should be a solid game for Big Ben, since they are playing at home, there is nothing to make me believe Conner want be pushing 30 touches again this week. While he is in the lineup, his volume will be second to none. I think it is a ploy to convince Bell they are fine without him, but who cares. Roll will JC for as long as you can and much like with The Godfather, you will not be disappointed. Take the word of the “Godfather” of fantasy analysis @evansilva.

WR: Nelson Agholor: Let us overlook the fact that he only had 33 yards last week. The important thing to focus on is the 10 targets with 8 catches. With Alshon still residing in the blue medical tent, Agholor is the only Philly wide receiver you want to own. Tampa Bay’s defensive secondary is so banged up they may suit up actual swiss cheese this weekend. They only registered one sack last week against the Saints too, so things are boding very well for Nick Foles and Agholor. Agholor should once again be a target monster against the Bucs, but I expect far more yardage and a score. Agholor reminds me of that friend who is always inconsistent with his supply. At times, he delivers some of the finest, dankest shit you ever had, but other times he brings nothing to the table. This week, Agholor is dank as fuck.

TE: Travis Kelce: It is not often when you have to list a top 3 tight end on a start list, but after last week’s performance, I think it important to mention him. We all knew that Pat Mahomes was a completely different quarterback than Alex Smith and that Kelce’s numbers were going to take a hit, but a lone catch for 6 yards is completely unacceptable for a guy being drafted in the 3rdround. The good thing is, he did have 6 targets in a game completely dominated by Tyreek Hill. The Steelers are a tough opponent for TEs, finishing second against them last season, but I think Hill steals a ton of their attention, opening up the field for Kelce to do work and take better advantage of his target shares. Start him with confidence. In 2013, a strain called Girl Scout Cookies took home the Cannabis Cup for Best Hybrid and Travis Kelce was drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs. Kelce is Girl Scout Cookies, a hybrid who can still fuck your shit up even after all these years.

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Schwag Buds of the Week

QB: Derek Carr: In 2015, I bought this amazing little bong. It had a loch ness monster engraved into it and about a week later I found a Nessy bowl piece that made it perfect. I took great care of it until last year when I dropped it off a balc2244999670_1b91526ccc_b.jpgony and it shattered into a million little pieces. Derek Carr is that destroyed bong. He was once amazing and it was thought he would be fucking people up for a long time, but last season, he shattered. He is now Derek Carr-bage. Monday night proved that he does not have what it takes to be a winner in this league. He not only didn’t complete many passes to the guys lined up outside, he barely even looked their way and he gets to face Von Miller and the Denver Broncos defense. They may not be the unit they have been in the past, but Carr-bage threw 3 picks last week and will throw a few more this week. If he is on your roster, drop him. I would rather have Sam Darnold as a backup QB than Carr-bage.

RB: Carlos Hyde: El Guapo had 22 touches, for 65 yards and a touchdown last week, but unfortunately, he only averaged 2.8 yards a carry. That is not good. He was lucky that Big Ben and the Steelers offense was inept enough that the game dictated him getting 22 carries. This week, the Cleveland Browns get to travel to The Big Easy for a game with the Saints. Drew Brees and his offense are quite adequate. So much so that I believe Duke Johnsonimages (5).jpgis the running back to play in the Browns backfield this week. The Saints will score points, the Browns will have to keep pace. Hyde just doesn’t feel to me that he will be a big part of the offense once the Saints get up 14-0 in the first quarter. I also think the Saints defense is better than they showed last week and the Browns will be the first team they feast on. Hyde is a no-go for me this weekend, much like my bubbler. I like it a lot, it just isn’t something I plan on utilizing this weekend.

WR: Robby Anderson: I love Robby Anderson, but I hate the way he is going to be used. Q-Dawg Enunwa is the clear target monster in that offense. Him and Darnold connected on a different level Monday Night. Anderson made a hell of a play on that deep touchdown reception, which was great, but it was himages (6).jpgis only target of the game. I need more than that from a WR2/3 or a flex play. I assume the Jets will do what they can to get Anderson more involved this week, but the Dolphins are not half bad in the secondary and was a tough matchup for WRs last season. Anderson will have his big games, but I fear he will end up more Darrius Heyward-Bey than Kenny Stills-like. Robby is like that gravity bong that you love to use but rarely do. It packs a heavy punch when it shows up, but there just isn’t enough usage to make it relevant.

TE: Jimmy Graham: Be prepared for Jimmy Graham to disappoint this season. In a game where the Green Bay Packers and a gimpy Aaron Rodgers were slinging the ball all over the place in the second half, Graham managed only 2 catches for 8 yards. If you are goinimages (7).jpgg to average 4 yards a catch, the least you can do is have 8 reception (right Nelson?) and maybe get in the endzone, but neither of those things happened. That’s the thing with Graham this year, I think he is going to be touchdown dependent. And with Devante Adams, Randall Cobb, GERONIMO, and soon to be Aaron Jones, I am not sure exactly how many Graham targets will end up with as a touchdown. This week, he gets to play against the Minnesota Vikings defense that gave up the least fantasy points per game to the position last season. If he doesn’t score a TD, Graham is as worthless as a broken Bic Lighter next to a giant bowl of danky nugs. You should definitely Puff, Puff, Pass on him this week.

Best of luck this week everyone. Dank Buds you should play and schwag buds you should seriously consider benching.

Hit up the Garage Guys Hotline at 929-430-GGFS with any waiver, trade, or start/sit questions for next week.

Those of you in the path of Hurricane Flo, be safe.

Smoke it if you got it!!!

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Well that didn’t take long! Our first fantasy football conundrum is upon us before 30 teams even play a down. Le’Veon Bell has not reported to the Pittsburgh Steelers to sign his $14.544M franchise tag, which will cost him around $850k per game missed. This is driving both fantasy owners and good old Mike Tomlin to focus on the next man up, who is James Conner, who we hope you Bell owners were able to roster.

The Steelers seem content waiting this out and not rescinding the tag or taking calls. This makes sense based on the fact that if Bell walks before entering free agency the Steelers would lose out on the compensatory pick in the 2019 draft, which would most likely be a 3rd. Bell also seems likely to return around week 10 to maintain that unrestricted free agency status entering the 2019 offseason.

What also seems destined is Bell wearing another uniform in 2019. Let’s take a look at the current CAP situations and who the squad thinks is the best destination. Per @FieldYates  here is the current top CAP friendly teams that could potentially acquire the rare talent that is Bell.

Stoner’s Pick: (SF 49ers)

@FantasyFBStoner : The Jerick McKinnon Era in San Francisco has ended before it even began. You heard it here first: He will never play a meaningful down for the 49ers. I understand they just signed him to a 4-year deal, but that means nothing. His salary for 2019 is very manageable, totaling $4.5m including bonuses, but that means nothing. Let me say it louder for those in the back: MCKINNON WILL NEVER PLAY A DOWN THAT MATTERS IN SAN FRAN.

The minimal cap hit ($1.5m) that will come from releasing McKinnon prior to the 2019 season makes him easier to cut, but there is another main reason his stay by The Bay will be short-lived. His name is Le’Veon Bell. Arguably, there is nobody in the history of football better suited for the things Kyle Shanahan likes to do on offense.

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He is constantly lining running backs up in receiver positions, something no running back can do as well as Bell. There is so much pre-snap movement in Shanahan’s offense that running lanes open up simply because of defensive confusion, not just blocking schemes. Though an argument could be made that the success he has had in the power run game of the Steelers may not translate over to Shanahan’s outside-zone scheme, but this is utterly ridiculous.

Overall, Bell is the most talented player in the NFL. In 3 out of the last 4 season, he has easily surpassed 1200 rushing yards, 70 receptions, and 600 receiving yards. Additionally, he has 42 total touchdowns over 5 seasons. Not to mention, Bell is still only 26 years old, so (barring injury) there are plenty of years left in the tank. Last, but certain not least, there are few teams in the league that have the financial flexibility to pay Bell what he is worth and luckily for the 49ers, they are one of them.

After dipping their toes in the Khalil Mack waters, John Lynch and the 49ers need to cannonball in the Le’Veon Bell pool. He has the ability to beat a team in a multitude of ways and is the game-changer the 49ers need to truly fulfill their Quest For Six.

Chase’s Pick (NY Jets)

@GarageGuyChase :When you think of Lev, you think big, fast and popular. Kind of like a Jet plane. Jets are awesome and Lev Bell to the Jets would be even more awesome. The team has struggled to find a run game in years past. This move would allow a team that is ready to be a true contender in the AFC East to take a huge leap in the standings.

download (1).jpgWith Sam Darnold grabbing the starting job at QB, this would be the perfect time to add a weapon that could give the New England Patriots a run for their money and help progress a true rebuild in the Todd Boles era. Currently the Jets have $15,451,473 in cap space and we would more than likely see the release of 5 year running back Bilal Powell.

Fantasy Guy’s Pick (Indy Colts)

@fantasyguy93 I’m sure everyone has already heard, but Le’Veon Bell is good, and looking to get paid. The Steelers won’t do it, but someone else certainly will. One good landing spot for an elite RB1, with a high price tag, would be Indianapolis.

download (2).jpgAlthough the Colts franchise is headed by a “less than stable” owner in Jim Irsay, it sill remains a desirable location for Bell. The offense comes with a returning star in Andrew Luck, who can turn the team around immediately if he can get back to his normal self. There’s the always explosive T.Y. Hilton at WR, who can only benefit from Luck’s return, and an improved offensive line including the sixth overall pick, Quenton Nelson.

The Colts have a great mix of talented offensive weapons to put around Bell, if he chooses to play there. They also have what other teams don’t, which is cap space. The Steelers have made it perfectly clear that their opinion on Bell’s worth completely differs from that of Bell himself, or his agent, Adisa Bakari. They offered him $14M and he was asking for $17M. Based on how far apart the two sides are in this situation, it seems fair to assume that there’s little to no chance of him being a Steeler next season. The Colts have the roster space and the cap space to appease Bell, but will they be the ones to sign him to the historical contract he desires? We’ll see.

Kevin’s Pick (Houston Texans)

My thought is why not the Houston Texans. Pairing Bell with the electric young QB that is Deshaun Watson, and DeAndre Hopkins, that I wrote about here , would make for one of if not the most electric combo of QB/WR/RB in the NFL. The Texans could also front-load the guaranteed money to allow themselves time before signing Watson to the mega-deal he will demand if he can stay healthy. images (1).jpg

Look I know Lamar Miller is decent, but let’s be honest – he is nowhere close to the level of RB that Bell brings to an offense. Bell would provide the Texans with basically a WR2 in terms of target share, couple that with Nuk and Will Fuller V and the Texans are a hybrid TE away from having the potential to lead the league in offensive production, coupled with a solid defensive unit.

Here is exactly why Bell is basically a RB1 and WR2/TE1 combined, (courtesy of Pro Football Reference!

Rank Player Position Targets Catches Yards TD
1 Jarvis Landry WR 161 112 987 9
2 Larry Fitzgerald WR 161 109 1156 6
3 Michael Thomas WR 149 104 1245 5
4 Keenan Allen WR 159 102 1393 6
5 Antonio Brown WR 163 101 1533 9
6 DeAndre Hopkins WR 174 96 1378 13
7 Golden Tate WR 120 92 1003 5
8 Adam Thielen WR 142 91 1276 4
9 Julio Jones WR 148 88 1444 3
10 Le’Veon Bell RB 106 85 655 2
11 Travis Kelce TE 122 83 1038 8
12 D. Thomas (Den) WR 140 83 949 5
13 Alvin Kamara RB 100 81 826 5
14 Jack Doyle TE 108 80 690 4
15 C. McCaffrey RB 113 80 651 5
16 Doug Baldwin WR 116 75 991 8
17 A.J. Green WR 143 75 1078 8
18 Tyreek Hill WR 105 75 1183 7
19 Davante Adams WR 117 74 885 10
20 Zach Ertz TE 110 74 824 8

I mean honestly this guy had more catches in 2017 than Ertz, Adams, A.J. Green, or Baldwin! Those are WR1s and TE1 comps while maintaining workhorse rushing touches that separates him from the likes of Kamara and CMC in my opinion.

Where would you like to see Bell in 2019? Let us know!