Fast cars, fast women, the vibrations running up your legs… ooooh sweet NASCAR. The season is over and Martin Truex Jr took the cake in Miami in true fashion. We lost legend driver Dale Jr. to retirement and Denny Hamlin still hates Chase Elliott. Pretty certain anyway. So what comes now? February is right around the corner and I for one want to see more excitement out of this sport. I come from an era where you go round and fucking round and whoever wins just wins. That’s it. Dunzo. Now you’ve got all these stages and self proclaimed “Viewership Experts” trying to make it more of an “Acceptable” sport. HELLO!? This sport was created off the running of moonshine! Your fan base is a bunch of wild as fuck blue collar people. Shit I’m one of them. (Ive cut a mean rug at Dega in my day) What’s it gonna take to get the numbers up in this fucking sport!? Im on board with taking a history lesson and going back to the days of old. 80s and 90s style. Rock of ages. Marshall Tucker band type shit. We need that. The drivers need that. The Fans need that. If Donald Trump is making America great again why the fuck cant NASCAR be great again!? Everyone should at least go to one race in their lifetime and experience that type of madness. It’s basically like a BillsMafia Tailgate guest starred in an episode of Dukes of Hazard. It’s wild and I cant stress it enough. I’d love to see NASCAR make more of an impact in the fantasy sports world but sadly its gonna take the sport making it big again before we can see the amount of traffic fantasy football and baseball get. It’s kinda like fantasy hockey and with that unless you bring back more fighting, you’ll be fighting for ratings. Moral of the story is that NASCAR is a down home American ordeal and deep down inside of all of us there’s a wild hair waiting to sprout for fast, dirty, badass American speed.
Tag Archives: sports
It’s week 15 of the NFL season and I have yet to find a legitimate reason not to utterly despise this league in the year 2017. The injuries are fucking insane and it’s the time of the year where fantasy players hunker down and try to rub out a win anyway they know how. The only problem is that unless you’re in some shitty fantasy league built by a robot your Waiver Wire has probably been gutted like a Turbo Man Doll in a mall toy store in 1996.
“So where do I go from here Rickey!?”
The only thing I can really say at this point is buckle up butter cup because you’re in for one hell of a ride. To be honest if you’ve made it this far and you haven’t been playing the waiver wire you deserve your fantasy football card taken from you and thrown into a dumpster fire because that’s where all your hopes and dreams are going this season.
People like that are a reason for about 20 percent of my rage and there’s a select few people that royally chap my ass in fantasy football. Here’s my top three.
#1. The Inquisitive One
We all know that one guy who asks everyone in the league who they should start this week. I enjoy this person to an extent because it allows me to give them misleading information because of how stupid they are to ask a competitor that question. We’re all in it to win it baby and if you want to get in that boat go right ahead and let me steer it for you. I put in a fuck load of research and the reality is that the average player dosent really have to. It only takes a damn minute to figure your lineup out and that’s it. If you really need to ask me weather you should bench Lev Bell for Alex Collins this week you most definitely eat pieces of shit for breakfast.
#2. The Non Shit Talker
Fantasy Football is a game of superiority. It’s guts, glory, and feeling the overwhelming joy of outscoring your opponent. This game was made for trash talk. Look at Michael Rapaport for instance. This guy is the absolute Fantasy Football Player role model (if you haven’t heard of him leave, just go now). Michael is talking shit when he’s winning and talking shit when he’s losing. It takes alot of skill to get on that level but if you’re not at least giving the occasional “Fuck You I Win” text after every victory then go play fantasy golf because this shit ain’t for you.
#3. The “I was too busy to set my lineup” guy
I FUCKING HATE YOU! This is the worst guy ever. If you’ve never had a guy like this in one of your leagues please DM me and shoot me an invitation because I’m on my way. Nothing is worse than getting a victory where you were up against four bye week players. I don’t care if you had lunch after church or you had family pictures, YOU KNOW THAT SUNDAY IS GAMEDAY! If you can’t take the time to go replace your players then you need to GTFO and FAST! I dont want any part of you in my life or fucking up my league. Focus on baking cookies and watching lifetime all day you shit. If Saturdays are for the boys then Sunday’s are for the men and if you can’t set your lineup after you agreed to play then give me your man card along with your resignation. Although a win is a win it can also become a win for anyone every week and that just fucks up the system.
So now that I’ve cleared the air it’s time for me to digress and get ready for due battle in my leagues because this is my shit and I wish each and everyone of you success as you March into week 15. Unless you’re playing me. In that case you can get fucked.