Tag Archives: Comedy

A Letter To The Commish: The “My Wife Controls Me” Guy

Hey Commish,

Wow man, another year has flown by and Its almost time for Fantasy SZN again. Hope the draft isn’t the first Sunday of September by the way because Cheryl’s mom will be in town and we made plans to go to the lake for pictures. If it is that’s ok, I’m cool with auto drafting. I’ve been watching a lot of ESPN and even started recording Fantasy Live so I can really get ready for the league this year. I know I should have been more active last year but you know Cheryl was having a hard time after that bad experience in October when she died her hair and it turned orange. Had to spend my Sundays watching movies with her and I really didn’t want too but gotta do what I gotta do (ughh..). I’ve told her that I want to be able to let loose a little on the weekends with the guys like old times and she was cool with it. I just have to make sure I’m home before 7 for Super Salad Sundays. You know how serious she is with that. But anyway that’s neither here nor there. I wanted to get your advice on my first pick. Since you’re behind me I figured you be cool to help but I’m really thinking about drafting Saquon Barkley this season. I know he’s like some sort of sleeper rookie and all but I want to really shock the guys. Like really let them know I’ve been doing my homework because I know Drew wanted me out because he thought I didn’t take this serious enough after he made that comment about Cheryl and how she basically runs my life. (Yeah right lol). I’m in it to win it this year and you’re going to see that! I wont be able to make it to kickoff Sunday next week either though because we have to go to church that morning for Cheryl’s third cousins baptism. I’m sure you get it since you’re married and all but I will definitely come kick it with you for an hour on Monday to watch a little of the first Monday Night game. Cheryl’s going to bring some of her famous recipe alfredo so it going to be awesome! Let me know when you need the money for league dues and ill get you a check asap. See you Monday man!

P.S. Can you please tell Monica not to bring up Cheryl’s mole on her ear? It really upset her last time and I wasn’t able to set my lineup that week last year because of it. It was CRAZY. She slammed my phone on the ground and broke it. She can get a little emotional sometimes but hey thats women.