Another race down for the Garage Guy means it’s time for another NASCAR RePorT! This past weekend I attended the EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix at Circuit of The Americas (COTA) in Austin Texas. This trip was alot more dry than last year, and I was a little sad that I didn’t get to get my jorts wet, but the racing on Sunday made up for it (Plus my Terry Two Time Shirt blessed the Featured image of this article).
I also had a secret weapon this past weekend that hasn’t been seen in many moons, The Book of Road. The Book of Road is a sacred book that I received from a gypsie in a back ally named Mark. Mark may or may not be a crackhead, so that means the book was probably stolen, but it’s in good hands now.
This story may or may not be true, but here is a quote from Mark the Gypsie (that also may or may not be true) to help you believe that he exists. “Hey man, You look like you like NASCAR, wanna come see this book I found that I cant read?” Said Mark.
Of course I said yeah cause I like to believe that rough looking people wont murder me in a back ally for crack money, and I’m glad I did it (Also for legal purposes I did not see anyone do crack because this story may or may not be true and I don’t want Lawyers of Mark the Gypsie who may or may not be real to sue me).
And thats the story of how I got The Book of Road. The events that unfolded after that make up most of this RePorT, and It’s one hell of a True Story.
Welcome To Austin Texas, AKA Weird, Texas
Me and my compadre Dale Tanhardt started our weekend at Hooters of Round Rock to record the Garage Guys NASCAR Race Preview Show. We ate some really good wings and other incredible foods that are on the Hooters menu as always.
You can save money eating Hooters by using Promo Code “GARAGEGUYS” whether you are Dining in ($10 off any $40+ Order) or getting it To-Go ($10 off any $30+ order on the Hooters App or from Order.Hooters.com). Fine Print: Offer is only redeemable at HOA locations. Valid on food, NA Beverages, and Merch Only. Cannot discount any alcohol or gift cards.
That was a plug. Shoutout to plugs.
Anyway if you wanna watch the show and see the bets we gave out, and see the unveiling of the Book Of Road you can watch it right now inside this article.
The Best Road In Texas Is COTA: The Official Texas Road
Me and Dale drove into COTA later that night after recording the preview show, and It was great to see the official Texas Road again. I have truly become a fan of Road Course racing, and Dale and I both will tell you that we believe NASCAR provides the best road course racing in all of Motorsports. If you dont believe that, then fuck you.
We stayed in a dope ass spot on the backstretch, and had some cool neighbors for the weekend. It’s very important to have good neighbors at the race track, because that can truly make or break your weekend (Trust me, you don’t want to see how I would deal with a drunk dude named Marvin at 3:38 AM in the morning after he’s screamed Florida Georgia Line lyrics at the top of his lungs for two hours and tries to knock on my door asking to piss). Also fuck you Marvin.
Friday morning I woke up to Truck and Xfinity practice, and me and Dale whipped work all day. It was nice to kind of have a chill day before being on foot all weekend, and I was able to serve up some solid DFS articles while Dale handled Betting articles.
NASTRUCKS & NASFINITY On Road
NASTRUCKS kicked off first and I was really excited for a few reasons. The first was because my dude Brad Perez made his NASCAR Camping World Truck Series debut. That was really dope to be there for and I cant wait to see him in many more races over the years moving forward. By the way, HE GOT A TOP 20!!!
Aside from Brad putting in work, my guy Sheldon Creed was also back at it, but ended up having a shitty day because of a broke truck. His Truck Glory is already sealed tho, so it’s ok (Cause he’s forever Truck God I). Ultimately Zane Smith ended up winning on Road and He was the first Driver to see what was inside the Book Of Road.
Later that Day NASFINITY, started their engines, and like most of us expected, A.J. Allmendinger sealed the deal at COTA with Kaulig Racing. I love watching this team win, because they truly are an incredible team. Their energy, and passion are everything that NASCAR has been missing. Just a total vibe.
Of course A.J. is no stranger to Road, but he had never seen the Book Of Road before, so it was really cool to introduce him to it. He was confused at first, but once he saw inside, he was forever changed.
NASCAR CUP Road Day: The Day Borris Finds His Book
Legend has it that The Book of Road belongs to Borris Said, and to be honest I believe it. The Book presents itself in many forms, and Dale noticed it had Borris everywhere. I see him sometimes while wearing the Dale shades, but Dale sees him all the time.
When Sunday came, I truly believed as we met Borris himself, and he said to us, “Ahh, I see you’ve found my book”. Thats what Borris Said.
After that, the engines fired off and the Race on Road began. We knew that Borris was too old to care about winning because he has already won everything in life, including being the coolest meme of all time, and stalking Greg Biffle (You know how hard it is to win at stalking!? Mans beat jail time!).
It was time for a new Champion of road to be crowned and blessed to see the contents of the Book, and my god did Ross Chastain earn that shit!
The 2022 EchoPark Automotive Grand Prix will go down in history as one of the greatest races on road that ever was and ever will be. Chastain is a fucking legend for how composed he was throughout the race, and In the end, he got the real trophy.
I cant wait to go back to Austin next year for this race and let the book do it’s thing. Hell, it’ll be back in Sonoma this year, and we will see who is King of California Road. Until then, it is sealed and hidden under lock and key in a high security location that may or may not be my closet shelf (I may or may not be saying that to see who tries to come steal it and catch these enchanted hands of mine blessed by Borris Said’s encapsulated anger with Greg Biffle).
Another race down, and a new RePorT will be coming soon for Richmond. Prepare and thanks for reading.
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